September 24, 2008

$700B ... Maybe It's Just 'Dark Flow'

Sorry, I wasn't listening . . . what was that again?

Did I hear you right, did you jez say $700 billion . . .  for a lil' biddy bailout?  Shor, why not.  Pocket change, I'll jez take it out of my next week's bonus.

Greed, you say, did that?  I doubt that very much.  Now how could a lil' biddy bit of wallstrutting greed do that?  Maybe it's jez som'a that 'dark flow' stuff.  Not snuff ... stuff!

What?  You did'n hear 'bout that one earlier today ... about those scientists who jez discovered that "patches of matter in the universe seem to be moving at very high speeds and in a uniform direction that can't be explained by any of the known gravitational forces in the observable universe."  At least that's according to Clara Moskowitz at, in an article entitled Mysterious 'Dark Flow' Found in Space.

No, no, no ... Clara's not writing about Greed, dummy, she's writing about what they discovered far out in space ... what researchers think must show that sumthin is out there past the observable edge of our 'universe.'  Don't you member?  I told you 'bout stuff like that, stuff that hurt's my head jez thinking 'bout it.  In my lil' piece entitled Things That Make Your Head Hurt.   Yah, a couple of weeks ago.

Yah, 2nd and 3rd items on my list.  Yah, and below there, too.  No, no, not the part about the lil' boy in the ghetto.  That part's about Elvis.  No, not the part about the beer in the refer.  That part's about ... well, now you made me thirsty.  Thar ya go.  Further down.  That's it, the part about wondering what gravity really is, and what it might be like at or beyond the edge of the universe.  Now ya got it.  Right.  What?  DynaSoar at Slashdot got a lil' sumthin 'bout 'dark flow', too?  Slashdot, that's the news for nerds.stuff that matters place, right?

Yah, I like that place, shor.

No, dark flow is not the same as dark matter and it's not the same as dark energy.  Dark matter is dark cuz we can't see it, dummy.  And dark energy, well, that's the stuff Einstein talked about, which causes galaxies to shove each other apart at ever-increasing speeds.  Yah, I agree, you are not a dummy for not understanding sumthin it took an Einstein to talk about.  But you are still a dummy for not knowing that dark matter is dark cuz you can't see it even when you shine a light on it.  I don't know why it doesn't reflect light.  But it's the most common stuff in the universe.  That's why you should know about it.  It's what keeps the galaxies from blowing apart at the seams.  Yah, now you got it.  No dark stuff, no galaxy.  And no galaxy, no dummy, dummy.

What do you mean you want a picture of it?

But dark flow, now that's new, I think.  It says sumthin really, really big is out past the edge of the observable universe and its pulling stuff towards it.  No, I don't know what's out there.  I just said it's out past the edge of the observable universe.  But the stuff that is moving towards it is moving towards it at a speed of some 2 million miles per hour.  Yah, that's pretty fast.  And the 'stuff' being pulled is, like, a cluster of a thousand galaxies.  That's right, that's a lot of dummies on the move.

Maybe $700 billion worth.

No, that doesn't mean I think we should bail out the financial dummies, dummy.  I mean that the rest of us, not counting them, are worth at least that much.  Well, the book is still open on you.  And I suppose on them, too.

No, I'm sure they don't have $700 billion to pay us back if we bail 'em out.  Yah, I do think Greed did it, or at least a lot of it.  Not telling the Truth has a lot to do with it, too, I suspect. 

No, I don't know if they are Hawks or Doves ... What?  Women?  Now, cut that out ... a lot of them are women, but probably far less than half of the Wall Street dummies are women at this point.  Some people say women would never have gotten us into this mess, but what's either of those points got to do with 'dark flow'?

Why are we worth so much?  Well, so we, or our grandkids, can figure out what's out there, don'cha think?  Yes, we need a telescope.


1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of the concept of the "dark sucker". I remember a old salesman that had a flashlight looking light, that when turned on, actually sucked in darkness, as the darkness got sucked in, light replaced it. Finally when it could not suck any more darkness in, (the battery was dead), it stopped working. Sounds like Washington, DC.


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